A long time to wait - Catherine
Breast cancer is unequivocally ugly. Every doctor’s appointment is an exercise in managing fear and simply hoping for the best. The diagnosis truly does render you powerless and at the mercy of medical staff.
In that respect, I am blessed to have landed in the hands of some wonderful doctors who oversaw my double mastectomy, chemotherapy, radiotherapy and recovery.
The only reprieve from that difficult time came when I thought about my breast reconstruction.
Please don't misunderstand me. Of course, I was grateful to be alive, but going through cancer is such an emotional rollercoaster and those scars were a painful reminder.
My story starts in 2013 ... and it was eight long years later that I finally became whole, so to speak.
I would hope my journey is an uncommon one, but having encountered other women in my situation, I fear that it is not.
““Those scars were a painful reminder.””
In 2013, two plastic surgeons I consulted told me I was not a candidate for a DIEP flap procedure because I didn’t have enough skin around my belly. With literally no other options put before me, I reluctantly went against my better judgement and had expanders surgically put into my chest. These were basically inflated periodically, stretching the skin to create space. They would eventually be swapped out for implants. I knew from the get-go this was not what I wanted, both from an aesthetic and health perspective, but I was told by medical professionals that I simply had no other choice.
Having had radiotherapy on one breast also meant that the skin on that side could not stretch at all, so that also impacted my surgical outcome. Size-wise, I basically looked like a prepubescent teen (albeit, one with ugly surgical scars) and for years regarded my breasts with disdain. A couple of years ago, I summoned the courage to reach out to another plastic surgeon to see if anything could be done. Again, my hopes were dashed.
A dear friend of mine went through a mastectomy followed by chemotherapy and radiotherapy. She too was adamant she didn’t want implants, but being rather slim, she had also been told this was her only option. Unlike me, she didn’t give in. Four consultations with different surgeons later, she found Dr Dusseldorp via another friend who convinced her that she had nothing to lose by getting yet another opinion.
I am five weeks post surgery and the implants are out. Although the surgery was 12 odd hours long (eek, I know!), the recovery was better than expected and I was out of bed and sitting up the very next day.
Dr Joe’s nurse, Ann Marie, told me I would be back to walking my usual 5km daily in two weeks, and although I was skeptical at the time, she ended up being spot on.
If I can say anything about my journey, eight years is a very long time to wait to feel physically and emotionally mended, and I certainly wish I had the right information to begin with.
Everyone deserves to feel complete, but I'm quite angry that, for reasons I will never understand, there will be cancer survivors who have to endure feeling less-than because they have not been given the right information about their options.
““Everyone deserves to feel complete.””
Catherine, 45, delayed DIEP flap reconstruction after implants
Note: just as no two individuals are alike, no two surgical results will be exactly alike. Seek surgical advice from a FRACS qualified professional.